I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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