I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
