The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just want nice things and good sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
