They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
