i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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