So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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