even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
