I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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