some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
