only if we run a train.
done.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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