while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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