dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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