we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
