Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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