Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
