You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
