Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
