So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
