There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
