We're like a lot better than the average bears
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
