Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
