i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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