it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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