Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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