why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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