The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
