Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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