the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
