I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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