She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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