i think my tv is drunk
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this must be what syphilis tastes like
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
