what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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