I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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