Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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