Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
