Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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