best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
