Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
