I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just forgot I was standing up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
