did you get engaged???
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
