I look better un-naked...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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