She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
