I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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