Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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