a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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