I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
