He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
