woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
