But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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