where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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