He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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