I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
