found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
